Here is the first in what hopefully becomes a weekly thing at The Writer’s Coin. This is how it will work, I’ll write out an idea for an ad and see what readers think, whether I should produce it and put it into my portfolio. Other times I’ll put up two different campaigns for the same product and readers will pick out which one is better.
I know the formatting sucks but I’m just starting out with it, still trying to see what works. Next time won’t look as bad, I promise.
Today we start with a Bounty paper towel campaign:
Product: Bounty Paper Towels
Medium: TV
Ads: Three
Campaign: Hapless Dad
Ad #1
| Video | Audio |
| Young father at home, putting dishes with food still on straight into the dish washer. He’s grossed out. | [Dishes clanking] |
| The house is in disarray, it’s clear he’s been “in charge” for while, doing things “his way.” | [voice of kid] “Daaad! There’s no more towels!” |
| Dad freezes what he’s doing. | [dad whispers] “Towels!” |
| He walks quickly to the bathroom, we see crayoned walls and sleeping bags in the hallway, more disarray. |
[Dad] “Coming!” |
| Dad enters bathroom, two young kids stand shivering, just out of the tub. | [Dad] “Towels.” |
| He thinks, looks around, his face lights up. Behind the bathroom door is an over sized roll of paper towels (beach-towel size), he tears off two huge sheets and wraps each kid in one. | |
| Kids stop shivering, smile. They are warm now, comfy. | [Older kid] “Thanks dad.” |
| He has passed this test. Fade to black screen, shot of Brawny product. | [Voice over] “Brawny paper towels, use responsibly.” |
Ad # 2
| Video | Audio |
| Dad is doing household chores, we find him trying like a maniac to put a pillow in its case. He’s not having much luck. | [Dad]“Get in the case!” |
| Kids come out dressed with funked out, color-stained clothing, scratching their bodies. Dad looks at the colors, shrugs an I’m sorry. Kids forgive the color part, like it. |
[Older kid]“Dad, have you been using drier sheets? Our clothes are itchy.”[Younger kid]“Itchy” |
| [Dad] Hesitates slightly”Of course. Now hurry up so you don’t miss the bus.” | |
| Kids walk out front door. | [Older kid, whispering]“We don’t take the bus.” |
| [Dad]“What?.” | |
| Dad starts looking for drier sheets. | [Dad]“Drier sheets, drier sheets, drier sheets…” |
| Looking under sink, inside actual drier, in refrigerator, all the wrong places. | [Dad]“drier sheets . . . dry-er sheets . . .dry-ER.” |
| Light bulb goes off, he’s got it! Grabs a roll of Brawny paper towels, tears off a sheet with a big smile on his face. From inside the drier we see him place it on top of the wet, color stained laundry with a flourish. Closes door.Black screen, shot of Brawny. |
[Dad]“Drier sheet!” [Voice over]Brawny paper towels. Use responsible.” |
Ad 3
| Video | Audio |
| Mother coming home from a trip. Walks up driveway with suitcases. She’s excited to be back home. There is a young child’s underwear in the driveway—not a good sign. Opens front door to chaos. |
[Kids screaming, baby crying, appliances beeping and whirring] |
| Kids are running around in their bathing suits, soaked. See mom and run to her. |
[kids]“MOMMY!”[Mom]“Hey you guys! I missed you!” |
| [kids]“We did too!” | |
| She takes a minute to look around the house. She is agape. | [Mom]“What happened?” |
| They try to protect dad. | [Older kid]“Daddy . . .” |
| Mom sees a hammock in the living room. A play toy is dangling over it, baby is in the hammock playing with it. Mom picks up baby to check on him, hugs him. |
[baby gurgling, laughing][Mom]“Oh baby—what the?” |
| She notices the diaper is really a paper towel held on with duct tape. | [Mom]“ROBERT!” |
| Dad rushes into room in pink bathrobe embroidered with “mom” on the front. He’s surprised/worried/happy to see her. They both look at the baby. She gives him a look. |
[Dad]“I missed you.”[silence] |
| His forced smile turns to a frown. | “I love you?” |
| Black screen with shot of Brawny. | [Voice over]Brawny paper towels. Use Responsibly.” |
Please please please leave a comment, doesn’t matter if it’s good, bad, terrible, insulting, whatever, this is one of the reasons I started the blog and without some feedback my goals will only be harder to achieve. Thanks!
Clients like their product to be the hero. You approach that in number one, but move away from it in number two and three. I’d rethink those. Also, if you had a key visual or even better, a storyboard, that would help convey the concept. You’ll need an art director partner, or an aspiring art director to help you out. That might be hard to come by, but that’s how it really is in the agency world. You won’t come up with spots on your own, you’ll work with people to develop them.
Good luck.
I can see that you’re very creative and will do great in an agency. I think that it would be best to start with print pieces when you’re trying to get your foot in the door, rather than tv ads. If you want a more interactive piece, I would consider a radio script, and i would make it one part of a campaign that consists of other print pieces. hope this helps!
Thank you for the comments, I agree about the product really coming through in Ad1 in a way it doesn’t in the other two.
And julie, you’re right, I just had these ads in my head and wanted them out, but I really should focus on print. I have a few radio ones too that I may put up next week.
Thanks to you both!
I have to admit I’m a very visual person and struggle to envision concepts. I don’t think most people in advertising are like that, though, so take this with a grain of salt: I need to see something.
I like what Julie suggested above: at least for purposes of a portfolio, you might want to stick to something print. And David’s point is well-made, too: getting an art director or some sort of partner like that would be a great idea.
On the other hand, though, my limited advertising experience has taught me a few things already:
1) It’s really all about the idea.
Executing the plan isn’t the hardest part. For that reason, your post here is a great start! Top-ranked ad execs are the ones who can envision and plan and be right about it.
2) Marketing/ad-making happens in groups.
I’ve been shocked at how things come together when we get a handful of people tossing ideas around. One provokes another who tweaks a little who interests someone else and so on. And this is another plus I see to your posting weekly ideas.
3) Think outside the box.
Again, I’m thinking personally here, but I know I tend to initially get an idea and then refine/edit/tweak that until it’s blue in the face. After I’ve put all that work into it, I struggle to step back and say: no, something different. But sometimes that’s the best plan.
Anyway, just some random thoughts. I think this is a great idea and best wishes to you!
I would echo a few of the comments on here:
1. Your book, especially for a beginning copywriter, should be print-heavy. Print allows you to show your ability in letting your writing drive the concept. Make sure to include long-copy ads, headline-driven ads and, in general, an array of different writing styles, different types of brands and the like.
2. If you do include TV, I would echo David Burn and suggest that you get someone to help you storyboard it. You only need a few key frames, but those are very helpful in selling the concept as a good idea. And it’s what you and your art director partner will be expected to do at an agency.
3. I always found success with my student book (and like to see in others) when I discussed the strategy behind my choice of execution. In a lot of ways, advertising is subjective. If you can back up your creative vision with strategy, it not only shows that you are able to think beyond funny lines and interesting visuals, but it also helps me like your ad if I see where it is coming from.
4. In the case of these three ads, they are a great start – see if you can continue to push them. Using a paper towel as a regular towel is an interesting idea, especially in how it shows off the product efficacy; could it work in another situation? Does it work outside of the ‘harried Dad’ situation? Keep questioning.
The key is to keep writing (and keep doing it for parity products like paper towels that will really challenge you and lead to improvement). These are a very good start.
[...] to everyone who commented or emailed about last week’s edition, I really appreciate it. As a great tie in to this week, I attended a networking event last night [...]
[...] to everyone who commented or emailed about last week’s edition, I really appreciate it. As a great tie in to this week, I attended a networking event last night [...]