The Writer’s Coin

Last week I wrote that I was a little concerned with my reading habits. I noticed I would actively criticize certain kinds of “popular” books without every having read them. I wondered if maybe I was a book snob. So I decided to go out there and pick a book based solely on how well it was selling. I found The Good Guy by Dean Koontz and got cracking.

I was surprised how quickly I read the book — it’s over 300 pages and in less than a week I was done. Was it an enjoyable read, though? Sure, at times. It’s like watching the last two Matrix movies — there’s a lot of action going on but there isn’t a lot of real good storytelling. Here’s a few of the reasons why I didn’t like the book, and this goes back to the age-old debate of “serious literature” vs. “popular literature.” My two cents, at least when it comes to this book:

1. The dialog is a joke: No one talks like this. NO ONE. I don’t know how some Amazon reviewers boast that the dialog in this book is so lifelike and it feels like true life. Not sure which planet they’re living in. When two people have just met because one of them has a hitman after them and they’re being smug and sarcastic and making jokes, I’m like “Really? You’re gonna die and you have time to crack (bad) jokes?” It jumps out at you right away and reminds you that this is a cheesy book written by someone who cranks out tons of books at a time. If someone ever talked to me this way I would get so angry I would elbow them in the eye. Sadly, that never happens here.
2. Love Stinks: This is something I’ve noticed in popular books before (Duma Key, anyone?) — I call it the “soap opera effect.” When it comes to a love story or two characters falling in love (which these books have to have apparently), it’s the cheesiest, romantic-wannabe thing in the world. Some of it goes back to the dialog but the authors always have this idea that the characters just look at each other once and “something about her just struck her. Not love, but something like it.” And I’m like, “Come on! Just like that?” No buildup, no nothing, just boom! Give me a break!
3. First Draft: This book reads like a first draft. Some of the analogies are just plain weird and some sentences just need a little tweaking. So it comes across as if the editor corrected some spelling mistakes and called it a day. No offense to Dean Koontz, but I don’t care how many books you’ve sold — you still need someone to edit your stuff.
4. Showing Off: It’s all easy words in this book. No problem with that. But then, every now and then, Koontz will drop a big word in. It doesn’t feel appropriate or fit in with the easy, breezy tone of the book. Instead, it comes off as “Look, I know I’m a bestselling author of books that will be forgotten in 15 years, so I know people don’t take me seriously as a writer. But look, see, I know big words? See? I swear I know that this means.” Why else would you write 200,000 words of simple language mixed in with 20 big words? It clashes.

One interesting thing I noticed thanks to a class I took in grad school was the paragraph length. They are very short. That’s one reason why I finished the book so quickly. It gives the whole story a very choppy, staccatto (like my big word?) feel. It’s all very short, very fast, very brief descriptions. So there isn’t a lot of time to go into any depth on a scene, what something looks like, what a character is thinking, etc. It’s all superficial. There is a science behind this, I just can’t remember what the class was even called that I took.

Listen, Koontz will sell more books that tons of other (better) writers out there. Good for him. But Two and a Half Men is still on TV because millions of people like it. How can that be? Is it because the masses have bad taste? It’s not that simple, it’s just that a lot of people look to TV and books as their down time. They don’t want to think about complex issues and get all in-depth about things. They want something light and entertaining. That’s where Koontz comes in. Light, entertaining, and quick.

Will I read another Koontz novel again? Nope, I’m done. I have a long list of “serious literature” books that I want to read and I see no reason to keep trying these out. Although I must say that reading a “bad book” (according to me) was a very good learning experience. It showed me what I want to make sure I don’t do in my own writing and that if Koontz can get a following, there’s hope for me yet.

What’s your take on the serious literature vs Popular literature debate?

Tags: bestsellers, dean koontz, duma key, serious literature, snob, Stephen King, the good guy