Baby Budget: How to Prepare
When you’re facing a new challenge in life (like having a child), one of the keys to making the transition is preparation.
I’ve read about preparing for change by simulating them beforehand to see how you will react to it. Kind of like a test drive. So to prepare for our newborn, we should simulate it today so we feel confident when the time comes.
And by simulating I don’t mean carrying a plastic baby around that poops and cries all day. That would be insane—why would I want to simulate the lack of sleep and shrill screaming that everyone complains about when they have a kid?
The simulation I’m talking about has to do with budgeting. Want to see if you can cut back on X or Y when the baby comes? Well then do it for a couple of months before the baby comes.
Makes sense, right? Well to that I say why the hell would I want to penny pinch and stay home every night by choice when I’m going to be forced into doing that when the baby comes?
I should be doing the exact opposite—partying every night, spending every cent I can afford to spend out on the town, and overall living it up before that baby comes kicking and screaming into the world.
Right?
There are two sides to the argument. The responsible personal-finance blogger would say to go ahead and simulate the budget beforehand. Otherwise, how will you know if you can pull it off?
But here’s where I split with conventional thinking. Life is still about happiness and living to the fullest, not about making the number match.
Am I scared? Sure. But I’m not about to start our lives as parents before we actually have to.
I’m obviously talking from a place of great ignorance, so I’m curious to hear what the parents out there have to say. Start living the life now or live it up before the big day?
Image by TKnoxB
June 7th, 2010 at 10:18 am
I know for my wife and I – we tested out living off my paycheck alone since we eventually wanted her to “retire” and stay home with the kid(s). It worked well since it allowed us to save a significant amount before she actually quit. We were pretty frugal to start off with, so it wasn’t too much change to deal with. (We definitely weren’t big party people that went out every night.)
June 7th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Kevin: I just re-read my post and it makes us sound like we’re out there every night partying. Far from it! But what I was trying to say is more about how having a kid is going to be life changing so why change our lives before we have to. Know what I mean? Did you feel that way before your kid was born?
June 8th, 2010 at 9:43 am
To be honest, our lives didn’t change too much, other than the normal lack of sleep and having another person around to take care of. Maybe we’re boring!? I get what you mean though.
We definitely did try to go out for one last dinner/date before our first kid arrived and we did that again last weekend since our next baby is due in a week. Also this time around we’ve tried to get as much home remodeling done pre-baby so our home isn’t a construction zone with 2 kids. It’s hard enough doing projects with one kid.
June 8th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
I now have 3 kids, the oldest of whom is 15 so not having any is a rather distant memory!
I would say live your life before your child arrives. They are a blessing but they really do have massive implications for your freedom.
Don’t be suckered into buying really expensive stuff for the baby – they don’t care about it! You’re much better saving the money and using it to make your lives more relaxing (the baby will appreciate this more).
Good luck with the new arrival!
June 9th, 2010 at 5:42 am
THanks for the tips guys!
June 9th, 2010 at 11:32 am
I had friends who want to simulate kids before they had any kids, but it didn’t work for us. So bravo to you for just living life as you currently have it.
We couldn’t begin to imagine what expenses we’d incur. And perhaps more importantly, we couldn’t really imagine how much our lives would change — like going out to eat even less and going to movies even less frequently. In retrospect, the first year of our daughter’s life did and didn’t cost much. On a month to month basis it was initially about $50/mon for diapers before we switched to cloth. We did do a lot more laundry which cost a bit because we didn’t have in unit laundry for the first 6 months. However, we didn’t buy anything else for her because they were all gifted or passed down to us. But we couldn’t have simulated the following costs: adding my mother to our food budget for the first three months while she helped us out, buying a breast pump — we didn’t anticipate needing one, buying an extra plane ticket for her for all the trips we didn’t anticipate taking, renting a bigger place when we relocated for a job 6 months after she was born.
I like that the general idea is to see where the budget can be trimmed back. But I heartily agree that you’re just going to have to live the life you have now. Sock away a few extra dollars when you have them, invest in your relationship with your significant other, and pray that your kid is healthy.
June 9th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
The idea of budgeting BEFORE your new baby arrives is a great idea. Once the baby does arrive, the last time you will have time for is figuring out what you can cut back on. If you start budgeting before, you have months to figure out what works best for you and your family.
June 9th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Our first baby is due in less than 5 weeks. When we found out I was pregnant, my husband and I calculated how much our monthly expenses were, and how much we anticipated they would be when the baby came. We decided I would stay home for 3 months, without any pay from my employer, and to do that we would need a certain amount of savings. We came up with number X. We decided we would save to get to number X, and we did that all year, by spending less than we earn, and trying to be frugal, without putting ourselves in misery. We have greatly met that goal. We entertain friends, we shop, albeit less frequently than before, and we take great pride in the DIY projects we’ve handled around the house.
One thing I started doing was buying wipes or diapers every time we would do a major grocery run. We have built up a good supply, and it prepared us (a little) for what our grocery budget could be. Another thing is like 7 Credit said, to have a working budget in place before the baby comes. I use a spreadsheet on Google Docs to be able to track expenses from anywhere.
So I say, definitely live it up before the baby comes. A baby changes everything. And it would be totally helpful to have enjoyed your pregnancy rather than to look back and wish you could have enjoyed it more while you have a wailing newborn in your arms.
June 9th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
[...] Baby Budget: How to Prepare — The best way to prepare for a baby is to simulate what your budget will be after your bundle of joy arrives. The Writer’s Coin [...]
June 10th, 2010 at 5:51 am
I’m starting to see the picture here. Preparation vs. enjoyment and no extremes in either direction.
The time is coming…