What Black Friday Taught Me

Something is wrong.

That’s the first thing that came to mind when the alarm went off at 3:30am. My brain couldn’t quite figure out why I stuffed myself with so much food, then laid down in bed for four hours, and now was waking up. It wasn’t natural, it wasn’t right, and it did NOT feel good.

Then it hit me: it’s Black Friday.

I did this for the first time two years ago, and last year I claimed it would be my last. I had no excuse this year—the first time it was novelty and the second time I told myself it was sociological experiment to see if people would be out in full force again with the economy crumbling.

It was an interesting experiment, but this time I mean it: I am done.

To finish what was a fun, it odd, experience, let’s take a look at what Black Friday can teach us about ourselves:

We Love Great Deals

When I heard this woman say this, it hit me: people are here for the smash and grab. They don’t care what it is that’s on sale, they just want to grab it before you can. Why else would you show up at a department store at four in the morning? She probably didn’t need a grill pan, but if that’s what the deal was, she probably bought it.

Lesson: Just because it’s on sale, it doesn’t mean you need it. Hell, you may not even want it.

Temptation is Everywhere: Be Careful

A remote-control helicopter? I’m a grown man with a wife and an apartment in a high rise—I have no business with a remote-control helicopter. And yet, there I was, eying the packaging like a little kid at Christmas. These retailers are in a fight for their life and they know what they’re doing. Be careful out there or you’ll come home with huge bags of regret.

Spending is an Inevitability

You will spend some money on something out there. You’re groggy, you over-ate the day before, and your mind is at the mercy of the retailers. You don’t stand a chance. I held out for almost two hours until I saw the shaving cream I’m almost out of—so I bought it. Better that then a remote-controlled helicopter, but if I really wanted to make sure I didn’t spend anything, I should’ve stayed in bed.

We All Have Our Weaknesses

Mine is blue and yellow and we call it “Best Buy.” After all the madness was over and everyone went to sleep, I took M’s car and drove out to Best Buy—the one place I wanted to go more than any other. This is where I tested my willpower: I looked at digital cameras, video games, and a bunch of other stuff that I’d love to buy. I was proud of myself, I managed to walk out of there empty handed…after an hour or so of browsing.

Our Brains are Stupid

It’s got nothing to do with the Karaoke machine, but with how dumb we can be when it comes to spending. I was *this close* to buying a digital camera at Best Buy. Why? The old one, the one that I had to buy a new battery for because I didn’t use it for over a year, has a broken flash. So my solution is to buy a new one even though I haven’t used it for a year!

There there is the video games—I almost bought Modern Warfare 2. It looks and plays awesome, but I haven’t even played 10% of my last game purchase: Fallout 3. So why on earth would I buy another game if I haven’t even scratched the surface on the last one? It makes no sense, but when we’re out there at these stores our brains turn to much and the greatest feeling of all is forking over that credit card and walking out with a bunch of stuff.

No more Black Friday—I have learned my lesson.

The Writers Coin