Why We Love Money: Fear
May 17th, 2010 by Carlos
A while back, I asked myself a question: why do we do things for the money when we know that’s not what’s going to give us the fulfillment we supposedly want? We always pick the money, and the reason I wound up giving was security. Money does a lot and has the power to do a lot in our lives.
OK—fine. But putting aside why we do the things we do, what about the opposite? What is it that keeps us from doing the things we really want to do?
Let’s Make This About Myself
I would love to become a Michael Lewis/Bill Simmons hybrid: a guy that writes passionate stories about being a big-time Cubs/baseball fan and gets paid for it. I would also love to become a best-selling novelist that writes a book every 3–5 years and spends most of his time researching, delving into characters’ psyches, and doing all that other cool shit that established writers get to do.
But I’m not doing anything that would make those goals a reality right now, and there’s a reason for it: I’m afraid.
Fear is keeping me from doing the obvious, which is writing a blog about baseball and the Cubs. Fear is keeping me from writing short stories (again) and sending them out to be rejected (again). It’s all about the fear of failure.
But it’s the way that I’m judging failure that bothers me.
What if I don’t make any money at the end of it? What if I write a goofy blog about baseball stuff that no one winds up reading and no one cares about? What if it doesn’t lead to anything greater? What if it doesn’t get me a job writing for ESPN or Sports Illustrated?
Then what? Did I just wast all that time and effort?
At the core of all these confused thoughts and insecurities is one thing: fear.
Fear of really going for what you’re passionate about in life and trying to make it come true. And then failing.
That’s why I write about money on this site. I put some AdSense ads up and sell some links here and there and a trickle of money comes in. Is that success? Am I failing? I don’t know…it’s hard to say. But I can see the numbers. I can see money coming in. Month after month, I see it pile up into more and more substantial amounts.
The money tells me I’m doing something right.
I had been submitting fiction stories for a long time and have $300 and a stack of rejection letters to show for it.
So I decided to start a new site: Applied Analytics. Why? Because I saw there was a need for people to learn how to read what Google Analytics spits out and I think I can help those people. And I think that, down the line, I can make some money off of it.
Let’s be honest though: money is the main motivation. I like helping people and when I get comments and emails from people saying “thank you,” I feed off of that like nothing else. Including money.
But I wouldn’t do Applied Analytics if someone told me today that I wouldn’t make any money off of it in the long term. I just wouldn’t.
And something about that seems wrong. You should be doing what you love to do. What you’re passionate about. What you would do for free if that’s what it came to.
I should be writing about baseball for free.
I should be writing fiction for free.
And I should be loving every minute of it.
But there is the fear. It’s all powerful and all encompassing. The fear is what keeps me from really going after these things. Throw in a baby for good measure and the fear grows and grows.
Day care. Diapers. Strollers. Toys. Nannies. Doctor visits. College fund.
Fear, fear, fear.
That’s why we love money so much. That’s why we chase it around at all costs.
It’s not because we’re greedy or heartless or materialistic. The truth is much simpler: we’re just afraid.
Image by kevindooley
This post was included in the Carnival of Money Stories over at Funny About Money and the Best of Money Carnival at Scordo.
Just followed your Analytics site! IT IS AWESOME. I was recently looking for a resource to understand all that can be found in there.
What a great post. I hadn’t really thought about fear in this way, but I think you’re exactly right. This was a good post for me to read today.
And, as you know, I’m thrilled you’ve started the Applied Analytics site — I do hope you make loads of money from it down the road.
Good luck with the new site. As a Cardinals fan I would love to troll on your Cubs fan blog
@Beth: Thanks! I’m really liking this idea of being totally honest about the urge/need to make more money and being totally open about how/why I’m doing it. Don’t know why it took so long…
@Kevin: One thing you will always be able to hold over me is Albert. He is the Jordan of our game…all hail Pujols
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