I’m Having a Baby: Time to Freak Out
May 10th, 2010 by Carlos
When my wife and I found out we were having a baby a few months ago, we sat down and wrote a to-do list of the things we needed to get done. This is kind of what it looked like:
- Make more money
- Check insurance
- Make some more money
- Do NOT freak out
- START FREAKING OUT!!!
As happy as we are and as exciting as it is, there is a fear of the unknown. And a fear of the known: day care, diapers, cribs, bibs, bottles, nipples, pumps, etc. There is a LOT of stuff you need to get and it’s all very expensive. Especially for a couple that just bought their first place. Then there is the inevitable lack of sleep and an even bigger questions: when am I going to write for TWC when all this comes to a head?
It’s scary.
Running the math on your expenses and trying to fit in how you’re going to pay for all these things is not easy—it’s downright nauseating. That’s why I wrote a post about letting your budget run your life—if I followed the numbers religiously I probably wouldn’t have a baby. The math doesn’t add up.
The whole purpose of the post was to say: “if you want a baby and you can handle it—do it. You will figure it out and you can’t let a little thing like money get in your way.”
I realize how borderline insane/irresponsible that sounds. Trust me—I’ve been thinking about this for a LONG time. Replace “baby” with any of the following and that’s exactly what it is:
- 60-inch plasma
- PS3
- Alienware Computer
- iPad
- New tricked out car
But a baby is different. A baby is life. A baby is combining you and your significant other and creating a new person. It’s pretty awesome when you think about it.
What Gets me Through it All
There’s been one key idea that’s been helping me get through all this drama so far, and it goes something like this:
Millions of people do this all the time. They have babies and they raise them and they do just fine. Dumber people. Poorer people. More irresponsible people. They’ve been doing it for thousands of years so I think I’ll be able to do it as well.
You can criticize it all you want (if you want), but I’ve been holding on to that one tightly and it’s gotten me through some stressful times.
Anyway, if you are a parent and you have some good coping tips for soon-to-be parents that are freaking out about money, PLEASE share them in the comments. They will be graciously accepted.
Image by upsand
This post was included in the Carnival of Financial Planning and the Carnival of Money Stories
First of all, congrats! Second, I’m in a very similar situation – expecting 1st child in December, in the process of buying a house. Stressful, yes, but I’m not worried that I’m in way over my head because I go by the same motto you’ve outlined above –
“Millions of people do this all the time. They have babies and they raise them and they do just fine. Dumber people. Poorer people. More irresponsible people. They’ve been doing it for thousands of years so I think I’ll be able to do it as well.”
That’s 100% true for just about everything in life. And that’s what I always tell myself. For years, stupider people than me have done just what I’m doing, and the world didn’t come to an end. Stressful, yes, but impossible, no. Good luck!
Good luck, just do the best you can on your list. There is no perfect time to have a baby and there’s always more preparation that could be done. We’re expecting #2 in 5 weeks and trying to get remodeling done in the remaining time. It’s stressful, but I’m trying to have fun with it knowing the real stress (and sleepless nights) will come soon enough.
Congrats! I just found out a couple weeks ago that we were expecting our first too. We had our 8 week sonogram today, it is freaky – can see a head and a heart beat.
Good luck buddy
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Congrats!
I can’t speak on the impending parenthood, but I’m moving into the (panic-stricken) world of first-time home-buying myself right now. This fear you speak of. I know it. Good luck!
Thanks Alex! Oh hey, buying a home is no cake walk, especially when it’s a remodel. Good luck with that and looking forward to hearing how it goes!
I have three children (ages 8, 5, and 20 months). Despite what anyone tells you, hold them a lot especially when they are little. Kiss them as much as you can, and tell them you love them even when they roll their eyes and say “yeah I know you tell me ALL the time” keep saying it.