What I’ve learned from Valentine’s Day
Feb 19th, 2008 by Carlos
Last week I posted on my schizophrenic experiences with V-Day and in the aftermath I realized I’ve learned some valuable things about that day and gift giving in general. So next time a special day comes around (anniversary, birthday, etc.), don’t forget these time-tested tips:
- Money isn’t everything: You’ve heard it a million times before and it’s still true. Money has nothing to do with how good a present is—zero. And I mean it both ways: a frugal gift isn’t any better or worse than an expensive one. So if you’re expecting a great response from someone based on how much you spend, you’re in for a rude awakening.
- Money can do some really cool things: In my V-Day post I talked about the amazing weekend I planned out for M and I, and we’ll never forget it as long as we live. It cost a lot of money, but that’s what money is for. We’ll have that weekend as long as we live.
- Money makes us lazy: I’ve done it before and I think guys in general do it a lot. We spend the money on a present and thin, “Ok, that’s done.” I understand: there isn’t a lot of time to come up with something creative or different the day before. So we order flowers online, have them delivered to her place of work. Or we buy a gadget she might like. Lets get this straight: buying is the easiest way out. And she knows that. It’s a shortcut that means we don’t have to spend any time or effort on the present. Again, SHE KNOWS THAT.
- The two most important things when giving a present are Effort and Surprise: Effort shows you put a lot of thought and work into it (irrelevant of the money spent). And people love being surprised—it’s one of those things that gets harder and harder to do and that’s why it’s so valuable. The weekend I spent so much money on was incredible because she had no idea what was going on for a whole weekend. You could tell I went through a ton of work and planning to get it all done, and that’s something that counts for a log.
The thing about these types of “lessons” is that they come to you right after the day is over and then you forget them until the next time, when it’s too late. So it’s important to recap these holidays right afterwards and try to learn something from them. Writing about them also helps keep them in your head.
The bottom line is if you don’t want to spend a ton of money during holidays or anniversaries, you don’t have to. If you put a lot of work into it and surprise the other person, he/she could care less how much money went into the endeavor. But it also doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend a lot of money on it—that’s what money is for. Just make sure you aren’t spending a lot of money in the hopes that the other person will enjoy the gift/day in proportion with how much you spent. That is lazy and most people (unless you are buying an island or a fancy car) will see right through it.
